by Traci Hubbard
Deuteronomy 31:6
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
In a SuperSoul Sunday interview with Oprah, a gentleman shared a personal story about a horrific and beautiful experience. He was on an airplane with over a hundred other people, sitting in the tail section when the plane crashed. The tail section broke apart from the rest of the airplane and everyone in the tail survived. He recalls getting up out of his seat and seeing the rest of the airplane with travelers still buckled in and each one on fire.
Then it happened…as he stood there in shock and survivor’s guilt, he watched different shades of color and brightness flow upwards and out of the people trapped and dying in the fire. “Some of the auras were stunning and bright, with vibrant colors gently swirling upwards until they disappeared. I knew the auras were the souls of the humans going to be with their creator and it was peaceful beyond my understanding. That moment, that horrific and beautiful moment changed my life, and I decided that I would spend the rest of my human life intentionally living a wholehearted life, being my true self. Instead of being ashamed of my human imperfections, and afraid of being fully seen, I will embrace them while helping and serving others so when my soul leaves my body, it will be bright and beautiful.”
Oprah said that hearing the man’s story changed her life as well, confirming and strengthening her connection with God – the universe, the Spirit.
Instead of feeling ashamed that he had survived when so many others tragically died, the man shared his story with the families of the deceased. His courageous vulnerability provided hundreds of grievers with hope and peace.
We all struggle with shame and fear. We are afraid of portraying our true selves. We need to consider embracing our imperfections and discovering their teachings and gifts. How can one create a wholehearted life? Brene Brown writes, to live a wholehearted life, we need to love ourselves, embrace our tenderness and vulnerability.
Everyone needs their fair share of heart work. Often, big events will force us to shake up and wake up. However, sometimes it’s the little moments that pierce us to our marrow and shake us to awaken spiritually. My children woke me up to the simplest and deepest foundational truth that Jesus teaches: Loving yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself and for others. Compassion and connection are important, and we need to learn to cultivate and to let go and then share our stories. Folks, we are and have always been enough.
We need to practice courage, and compassion so we can connect in meaningful ways. Shame, even false shame, doesn’t like it when we are courageous and dare to share our story with others. Do not bury your story. We all need someone who can empathize with our experiences and not just sympathize with us. We are called to tell our stories and feel the pain of others. When we do, we will be on a journey of exploring the power of love, belonging, and being enough. Every human has the need for love and belonging. We are all hard wired to love. Self-love means respecting yourself and treating others with respect. We need to learn to accept our imperfections.
There are some things that seem to get in the way. As a child and teenager, for reasons I will share at another time, I was very self-conscious and worried about the assumptions and opinions of others. During the summer of 1979, I had a profound encounter with the Sacred that began an awakening in me and set my life on a spiritual path I could have never imagine. I became a storyteller, a leader among my peers at school and at church. Spiritual leaders and teachers began asking me to speak and to teach. The consistent message I received was that I shared stories with a sweet and fun vulnerability and strength that drew others in, and I was a safe place for people to ask questions and explore their beliefs.
It's interesting how sharing our anxieties with others makes us less nervous. When we own our story, we will feel empowered and find our own voice. We need to talk about the obstacles, the hard times, the dark nights of our souls, the things that we think get in our way, when hindsight reveals those hard things, were exactly what we needed to deepen our connection within ourselves, with the Universe, and with others, so we could continue to evolve. When we spend time chasing for approval, we land on the deception of shame, fear, and end up sitting in an inward pile of poop, the belly of a whale, that tells us we are not good enough. Shame is universal and we all have it. The less we talk about it, the more it controls us.
How do we let go of shame and fear? By releasing who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are…by being and living authentically. It demands wholehearted living. Some perceive authenticity as selfish or narcissistic. There is a fine line between being honest and making others feel uncomfortable. There is a stigma about women to stay small, quiet and to play it safe. Men should work hard and stop feeling.
Sacrificing who we are for the sake of what other people think just isn’t worth it.
– Brene Brown
We need to cultivate self-compassion and resiliency. Perfectionism and shame are closely linked. When we do not claim shame, it claims us. Perfectionism is about trying to earn approval from others.
So, we can learn and grow from adversity. And how do we do this? Well, we do not do it alone. We connect with others, share our story, and receive support – comfort which nurtures the seed of hope. We need to understand the importance of hope and become aware that hope is a cognitive process where resiliency is born, and we are awakened to living conscious lives where we practice gratitude and joy. And from our inner garden where we have been comforted, where we have strengthened our personal spiritual root system, we become comforters, teachers, supporters, and gardeners of hope for others.
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. – Marianna Williamson
It is here, in the space of shared stories that we create space for rich play and restorative rest. Cultivating Play and Rest. Being playful is a key piece of wholehearted living. Play shapes our brain in distinctive ways. It helps us foster empathy and is at the heart of innovation. Play should never be considered a waste of time. Intentional play and rest allow us to cultivate inner calm and stillness even when surrounded by hard realties, negative energy or chaos.
The 2022 movie, “She Said”, is a true story about two young female reporters with the New York Times, Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor. On November 18, 2022, an article on RogerEbert.com, writer Nell Minow writes:
"On October 5, 2017, a New York Times story by reporters Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor made public what had been whispered about for years. One of the most powerful men in Hollywood, Harvey Weinstein, who made films that made millions at the box office and got dozens of Oscar nominations and three Best Picture wins, was a serial sexual predator whose abuses were covered up by his studio with hush money payments."
That reporting helped inspire countless #MeToo revelations, the departure of other top executives, and systemic changes that have given women more opportunities and more protection in the film industry and in other workplaces as well. Twohey and Kantor wrote a best-selling book about researching the article and persuading the women to go on the record which is now a movie with Carey Mulligan as Twohey and Zoe Kazan as Kantor. Maria Schrader’s “She Said” is a “Spotlight“-style journalism procedural that makes clear how powerful men are enabled and how devastated women are silenced. The title of the film significantly is just half of the dismissive “he said/she said” response to sexual harassment accusations with no witnesses.
“Do you think that speaking out might stop him?” That is what the survivors, many severely traumatized, want to know. As the old saying goes, when an iron pot hits a clay pot, the clay pot breaks and when a clay pot hits an iron pot, the clay pot breaks. Harvey Weinstein was the iron pot. He had immeasurable money and power. He did not hesitate to tell the young women that he could make their careers or make sure they never had a chance at one. Afterwards, they were paid to sign strict non-disclosure agreements. And the women were, unfairly but inevitably, humiliated, whether those who could not find a way to say no or those who did. Targets of predators almost always blame themselves. There are so many reasons not to say anything. There are so many secrets.
The movie balances the investigative work with the lives of the two reporters as they become consumed with the story. Twohey struggles with postpartum depression. Kantor, who has young children, receives a much-awaited call at home—she can’t miss that opportunity. “She Said” also makes clear the essential support they get from their husbands and from their editors.
The result of their work is revealed in the last scene of the movie: She Said (2022) - Publishing the Article Scene | Movieclips - YouTube
At the end of the movie She Said, the results of the reporters' investigation into Harvey Weinstein's sexual misconduct are revealed to the public. The movie also shows the consequences of Weinstein's actions, including his imprisonment. What happens at the end of the movie? The public learns of the allegations against Harvey Weinstein.
Over 80 women came forward and shared their stories, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ashley Judd were just two among the 80 who accused Harvey of sexually harassing female employees at Miramax and The Weinstein Company for three decades. He was sentenced to 23 years in prison and the METOO# Movement began and continues to change the culture in workplaces all over the world, including the film industry. When we share our stories, we are comforted, and space is created for our healing so we can comfort others who have or are experiencing pain.
The writer of Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds us – encourages us – empowers us to: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Imagine how the first strong and vulnerable woman – who on her way to a double breast mastectomy calls one of the reporters and says she is willing to go on record…imagine how her voice empowered all the other voices and spread whole hearted living across the globe…we can’t imagine how many auras were changed and brightened because someone decided to speak their truth, even while their voice was shaking.
Folks, we are here for meaningful and life-giving connection, and it begins with connecting to our personal authenticity and showing up in our stories. While we know we are not alone, and hopefully we believe that we are enough and that the energy of the Sacred is always with us. We need to understand that millions of others do not know this beautiful truth and are in dire need of our comfort. So please go – and let your light shine on this Superbowl Sunday and all your days ahead. May it be so, amen.
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