by Traci Hubbard
Rev. 3:19 – 20
Psalm 46:10
Good morning, Love –
Stretch and yawn
What’s all this? It’s not my birthday! Yes, I’m talking to you God…we laugh...you know I call you LOVE – I’ve got a nickname for God – (act like I’ve hit a home run – make the bat ball sound) …and she hits it outta the park! I mean there are some texts that say, “God is Love” so, just saying.
You know what my first thought was this morning…I know why melons have weddings…because they cantaloupe – Do you get?
Oh come on God, that was funny!
Oh…it’s not funny. Wow God the Trinity is a rough crowd.
Okay, you’re laughing, see, I’m hilarious!
And of course you know what my first thought was – before I get up you know everything I am thinking – Psalm 139 – David should win a Grammy for writing that one.
Before I came in here I looked in the mirror…more gray hair and wrinkles…my eyes seem smaller…squint – don’t they seem smaller to you?…well, they don’t make mirrors like they used to. My eyelids feel like that old commercial, Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. I want to pump helium into my cheeks.
Take a bite
What a night – and I know you know – my dreams were in colour again – Mom and me and the girls sitting on my deck – and I could taste the truffle cheese and pepper jelly – Mom was telling another one of her stories and we were laughing till we cried – it was the story about the plastic roach she named Harvey – and the time she rolled it into the toilet paper roll and Amy was the victim – we could hear her scream from the bathroom, “Oh SHI…” well, that’s what she said, and when she came back into the room we were on the floor laughing – Mom laughing so hard she was snorting…that story never gets old – and while Mom was telling it, she patted my leg – looked right into me – and I could feel her pat – Mom once told me she had a daughter so she could argue with a sassier version of herself before 8 am every day. Sarcastically say She was hilarious.
I woke up tired and happy – having spent more time with my favorite people – why am I telling you this, you already know it – before I rise, before a word is on my tongue, you already know everything – Duh Bruh! How do you keep from getting bored with all of us just chatting away – blah blah blah – seriously, I don’t know how you do it. When someone repeats a story, they have told me, I mean, you know the stats, most of the time I say, “Yeah, I know, you shared the same thing last week. (pause – take a bite – thinking) …Okay, I hear you., I’ve got to work on that. I don’t want to shut another person down… and you’re right, what matters is WHY they are saying what they’re saying, I mean, what they are saying is important, but why they are saying it again and again is what matters the most. Everyone needs to be heard and understood.
Take a bite and say…You know…I can’t remember the last time I used Algebra. And why are apartments called apartments when they are together – side by side right – I mean the names – the titles we give to things.
By the way, this ravioli is spicy! And the marinara sauce…bacon based. Our secret family recipe, right? How did you get…never mind. What’s mine is yours.
What? Thanks for the reminder – what’s yours is mine too.
No need to tell ya what’s on my agenda today. (Pick up a grape and say) gonna be clinging to the vine big time this afternoon. I need the fruits of your Spirit filling me up in every moment. It’s going to be a tough FaceTime conversation, and I need to listen…. yes…to understand, not to reply. Thank God that’s how you handle our conversations…I mean, (shake my head), thank you.
And this wine…I mean, grape juice…You remember everything lady! And cloth napkins! What’s happening! Say that again…Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. Yeah, I like that Psalm, but I don’t get the part about a distant land, because there’s nothing distant about you. I’ll chew on that one today and see what hits me.
How did you do it? How were you able to let Jesus give his life away? I mean, the things they said and did to him before they nailed him on the cross...I would have called Uncle Jimmy and had the whole bunch floating butt up in Lake Okanagan.
And Ghandi...and Karen Carpenter...for God's sake (sorry)...their beautiful voices that sunk into our bones and all they needed was a banana and some counseling. Okay, chased a rabbit, sorry, you know how my mind works…anyway,
You know about the conversation at the Diner last week –you were there and saw how she is hurting…deeply…why don’t you intervene and explain to her that divine wisdom and divine love coexist and humans aren’t God, the church isn’t God…
she has loved you her whole life and now she says you’re not real pause yeah because if you were, certain things would not have happened. And I’m the last one she’s going to listen to about this…can’t ya nudge someone to explain – show her a way she can understand, find meaning in it, and begin to heal?
Pause and listen
I know she’s on a journey – that’s exactly what I said – you know – you were there…
What? I thought I came up with that?
It was you…well, I felt it. I heard it come out of mouth – all gentle – and I didn’t even tear up – she hates it when I cry anything but happy tears…
I don’t want her to have to go through something that crushes her in order to finally call out your name again– you know, meet you at her kitchen table, or when she’s baking or singing cleaning her dishes…
She needs you
Yeah, I know, you’ve got her, but she doesn’t believe that right now
She’ll come back…you are saying SHE’LL COME BACK…when?
Pause and think
I know…I will let her be – let her go through this – I can’t control anyone but myself and believe me I am asserting a lot of self control not going up to the five people – I’m not even going to say their names – but they used you to crush her spirit and I am angry
I’m sad! – well of course I’m sad…she’s hurting and I can’t help
How? Wipe my mouth How am I helping?
Of course – she knows I’m always here – pause yessssss – she knows how much I love her.
Yes, pause …enough to let her be –
But what do I do? How do I be me in this?
Take a bite and listen
No questions…only presence. You know I’m not Jewish, I don’t do the Shiva well
I’m Sicilian – and not my fault by the way…you had a hand in that my friend – so you …you of all eternal souls know what I’m going through…
I mean, how did you feel when Jesus brushed off the Canaanite woman in front of his posse – called her a Gentile dog – that was a departure from being loving and kind… talk about a human ego…
pause
Yes – he learned a lesson from a woman – and his posse learned that men can learn from women –
listen
Annnnnnddddd that no human is better or less than another
But your heart hurt – watching it all unfold, right?
Loving someone and watching them learn and grow can hurt –
Pause and listen
Love wins – even when it doesn’t loo like it –
Pause
Okay, I commit to listen – this is not about me
And you're right...everyone listens differently, believes differently...I mean you created us human...free souls, not Pinocchio's...and still every person wants to be real...to be seen, heard, and understood...to be held, to matter...to really matter and belong and make a difference.
And hey, Me...of all people...you called me here - to this place, and I humbled and feel ready But the how is what trips me up...there's so much coming at us from everywhere around the world and we're all like Velcro ...with headline news, everyone’s stuff and some of our personal past stuff still stuck on us and in us...sometimes I feel like a pinjata...and one harsh word or one more gas lighting and I'm going to pop my fears and unhealed stuff all over people...I wish you had some holy draino to flush out and heal the scars that no one can see.
Pause and listen - eat
Repeat that back...did you say the sun and the moon share the light?
Mmmmm
I need to stop comparing myself to other ministers and be your light.
Pause like I am listening
Right...and just love them
Pause again and smile
And just love them like you love me.
Wipe my mouth...
Thank you for the ravioli...you're a blast you know. Anyhoo, this was great, I love LOVE our table talks, and you know, you’re really good at this – and God you can COOOOKKKKK!
Okay…I don’t know if I am lally gallying or dilly dallying…it’s a lot to think about.
Walking away
and thank you for the food for thought. My cup is spilling over. Gotta go...I've got the dishes...laugh...I know, it's the least I can do.
Love you more ...
Laugh hard
*Get up – wipe my mouth – kiss the air and say I LOVE YOU.
Good morning.
I want us to imagine beginning each day hearing this: Good morning, Traci.
Okay, let’s try something. On the count of three, I want all of you to say the following like you are happy to be with me: GOOD MORNING TRACI!
(I take the stance of Supergirl, my cape flying in the breath of the Spirit – describe this)
Now – I want all of you to do this again, but this time, say your name.
My oldest daughter, Sarah, and her husband Nick are the superhero parents of my grandsons, Luke, and Jeremy. When Sarah and Nick were at work, I enjoyed the precious delight of being the main caregiver to my grandsons. Since birth, they have had a nautical themed bedroom to share in my home. Lego, Star Wars action figures, light sabers, play dough, puzzles, superhero costumes, most purchased from second hand stores.
Fresh fruit, homemade waffles with strawberries and whipping cream, homemade fried chicken strips, French fries, broccoli, brownies, lots of bowl licking, Secret family recipe – Meatballs, chocolate milk, coffee ice cream, you know, their favorite foods.
When Sarah would drop off Luke in the morning, I would greet him at the door, get on my knees and say, “I didn’t know I was going to see you today!” And we would smile as he ran into my arms and said, OH Ha Nanny! With Jeremy. I would wear one of my five superhero T-shirts and would greet him on my knees, where he would tackle me and say the hero’s name branded on my shirt.
The boys knew they were wanted, they were loved, and that I was ready for them, and we would spend time together – knowing I still had some research or writing to do, pastoral calls to make, and emails to answer during set times in our day, they would play or nap around me. A table was always set for two – and they would take off their coats and boots, run to the table, and we would join hands and thank God for our food. We created a beautiful habit of being us, and we never EVER forgot to play imagination, Band-Aids ready.
Now they have bicycles, they can fly to Kelowna without their parents, and they will have a key to my new home – and like before, my house will be their house, and they will simply let themselves in and go straight to the fridge or snack boat on the kitchen island. I may not hear them come in, but I always hear them say, “Hey, Nanny, Bruh, what’s up?” This grandmother has made it to “Bruh” …and it took time for that intimacy and trust to build…Yep, I’m a Bruh. And soon they will be driving themselves through Rogers Pass.
The same is true in our relationship with God – the Lover of our souls, Inside everyone of us is a table set for two where our Grand-Maker, our Grand Friend, has everything ready, all that we need, all of our favorite things fresh and ready to fuel our bodies, souls, and minds.
A consistent spiritual discipline becomes, "a rhythm for living in which we can grow more intimately connected to God." Through it, we're actually tapping into our source of strength, faith, and joy. It's how we see our lives changed in ways that can seem hard to believe. We become more like God's children as we spend time with LOVE (see Romans 8:29).
One thing we understand in this cyber information age is how to absorb a set of facts, but our faith is more than a set of beliefs. It's about getting to know Someone as real as the person next to us, yet as mysterious as the universe (see Psalm 25:4).
Practicing. That means it's ongoing and we'll never get it "perfect." But we can acknowledge the God we don't see — and sometimes don't feel — and choose to believe God is with us. The question becomes, then, how do we practice?
First, we acknowledge that God is in us and in everyone else. We cannot see the wind, but we see the branches waving, the kites flying, the clouds moving. Our hair blowing in our faces. We do not see the physics of the push and pull of the tide, but we see the waves, the high and low tides, and we comb the treasures the tides leave behind on the sand. The same is true with our relationship with the Sacred. The 5 W’s and the How of spending time talking with God – is as simple as our talks with our family and friends. We meet God in our relationships, and the best place to love and rumble with others is at a kitchen table
Time spent with my grandsons is birthed from my intentions, my 24-7 love, my presence and love I infused into them while we are wrestling the life out of Zombies in the master bedroom closet…what we do with our time is important, that’s very true…but WHY we are together is the center – it is the ground zero of our relationship – it’s the middle of the Labyrinth – it’s our ancestral path of belonging with every living cell since the beginning of time…since forever.
I have a friend that meditates every morning and takes a physical walk with God. I have another friend who practices the presence of God in every waking moment…gardening, cooking, coffees with friends, throwing the frisbee or kicking the soccer ball with her grandchildren – beachcombing…cuddling her puppy – Scheduling time alone with God or practicing – being aware of the presence of the Sacred’s love in all moments and in us, in all people, being aware builds consistency which in turn builds intimacy and trust – it connects us, matures us, softens us while it makes us stronger as our hearts fall wildly in love with God and with being LOVE to ourselves and others…Consistency doesn't mean a boring routine either. Don't be afraid to change your habits…shake it up – the Spirit doesn’t care how we meet, only why we are present – why we are showing up in our physical and eternal lives.
So pull up a chair, or go for a walk, or beachcomb, or mow the lawn, or volunteer, or sit and listen to someone repeat themselves, or throw a frisbee, or scrub a tub, or make some cookies, and while you do, chat it up with LOVE, and be still enough to listen and know that God is there…all the time, even when we’re singing in the shower, I’m just sayin. May it be so, amen.
Comments